Driven Insane
by BlackHeart95
Summary: [Complete] Starfire wants to get her beginner driving licence but she doesn't have a clue how to drive. With three days until the test, how will she learn anything? And who would undergo such torture as to be her tutor? R&R, enjoy
1. Blackmailed

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or anything else mentioned that is copyrighted... Bare with me, I know very little of driving. I'm only just learning myself :S

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_--July.11, 11: 30 am--_

Today was an important day to Starfire. It was the day she began studying for her drivers license. She always wanted to drive so she could go to "The mall of shopping". There was a slight problem with her request. She needed to study to pass. Despite the hold back, she began hunting...Er....Looking for her friends so they would help her...

Starfire: Who should I ask to help me? Hmmm....... Robin! He shall be of assistance to me.( Exits her room and goes to the living room) I wonder if it is difficult to obtain a "driving licence"?

(Starfire enters the room to see Cyborg playing video games. She sneaks up on her prey... Friend...And questions him)

Starfire: Friend Cyborg, do you know where-

Cyborg: Robin went downtown to investigate a robbery (Goes back to being a zombie)

Starfire: I see... Then will you-

Cyborg: Sorry, Busy.

Starfire: Ok, I shall call Robin's " Cellular Telephone"

Cyborg:.....

Starfire: (Picks up a nearby Phone and attempts to call Robin)

Beast Boy: ( Is on phone) Hey!

Starfire: Beast Boy, can I use the telephone?

Beast Boy: Um..... I'm kinda using it.

Starfire: Ok. May I ask who are you talking to?

Beast Boy: Uhhh.... A friend...

Starfire: Is it Semour?

Beast Boy: Who?

Starfire: Remember? Semour Butts? The guy you were seeking one day?

Beast Boy: Star, that was a prank phone call...

Starfire: May I join the pranking phone calling as well?

Beast Boy: Well-

Cyborg: WHAT!?

Starfire: Friend Beast Boy is prank calling random earthlings! I was just asking him if I could join.

Cyborg: (Leaps at the phone and grabs it from Starfire) BEAST BOY! YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE!! I HAD TO PAY $150 LAST TIME!!!! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!...I need to discuss the phone bill with you... (Starts rubbing his arm cannon while grinning evilly)

Beast Boy: Thank you Star.... Now you can have the phone...

Starfire: Really? Thank you friend Beast Boy!

Beast Boy: Uh huh... (Hangs up)

Starfire: Now who's number was I going to insert? Right! Robin! ( dials a number)

( Ringing)

Answering machine: ( Robin's voice) Hi, you have reached Robin's cell-

Starfire: Hello Robin! What is up?

Answering machine: If you want to leave a call about one of the Titans, say so-

Starfire: Um...No, I wanted to talk to you.

Answering machine: ....Or if you want to leave a message for me-

Starfire: Well, I was wondering if you could assist me with studying for my drivers license exam?

Answering machine: ....Leave one after the beep ( Beep)

Starfire: Huh? Robin? Why that little Jolokhlo! He will pay when he returns!....Maybe not, perhaps Robin was just busy...Oh well, no happiness pudding for him! (Puts down the phone) Perhaps friend Raven will assist me! (Floats to Raven's room)

(Starfire arrives and knocks until Raven answers)

Raven: Yes?

Starfire: Hello friend Raven!

Raven: (Prepares to shut door)

Starfire: Would you like to help me with the studying of driving?

Raven: Um... No.

Starfire: Please friend Raven? I know nothing of how to operate an automobile!

Raven: No thanks, ask someone else. (Shuts door)

Starfire: Wait! Would you like to see my photography album?

Raven: Only if you leave me alone after.

Starfire: Of course friend Raven

Raven: (Reopens door) Ok, make it quick.

Starfire: GLADLY! (Sticks the book in Raven's face) Look, this is when we first joined the Titans! And this is when we defeated Slade! And this is Silkie!!! And here are friends Cyborg and Beast Boy! Here is our basement before we cleaned it!

Raven:........

Starfire: Look friend Raven! It is you hugging Beast Boy!

Raven: WHAT!?

Starfire: See? (Shows her the picture of them hugging from "Spellbound")

Raven: (Looks like she is going to die)

Starfire: That's all I have for now. Bye! I have to go show these to the other friends!

Raven: WAIT! I'll help you study! Just don't show that picture to anyone!

Starfire: Really!? Thank you friend!.....But why can I not show anyone the picture, Friend Raven?

Raven:...Because it...Clashes with the pink paper???

Starfire: (Stares at page)

Raven: (Sweats)

Starfire: Perhaps you are right, Friend Raven. I shall put the picture on a 'darker' page?

Raven:....

Starfire: I'll be in my room. Come by in 15 minutes! I shall have the books necessary to learn the art of driving!

Raven: Sure...

Starfire: (Walks off humming)

Raven: (Thinking to herself) _Well isn't that great. I was blackmailed by a moron who doesn't even know she did it...._(Anger rises)

Starfire: (Her hair catches on fire)

Raven: Uh...Starfire...

Starfire: Yes, friend Raven?

Raven:....I think Cyborg wanted to talk to you...

Starfire: Ok, thank you for telling me. Bye!

Raven: (Closes her door)

_Down the hall...._

Cyborg: WOAH, STARFIRE!!! YOUR ON FIRE!!!

Starfire: Cyborg! That kind of talking is not acceptable!

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Read and Review people, I need encouragement to prevent writer's block. And anyone who flames me will have a possessed kitten sent to their house. :)


	2. Survival Of The Doomed

Disclaimer: Once again...I do not own Teen Titans or that thing I mentioned in this chapter that is trademarked... Oh well...Enjoy.

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_--11:45 Am--_

15 minutes later...

( Someone knocks on Starfire's door)

Starfire: (Answers door) Why friend Raven! I wasn't expecting you!(Smiles)

Raven: Lets just get this over with.

Starfire: Come on in!

Raven: (Enters) How long until the exam?

Starfire: Three Earth days!

Raven: Ok, I think there is something we can do.... Is there anyway to slow down time in that length of time?

Starfire: I do not know, friend Raven. But I should be able to learn such skills before the examination!

Raven: That's what you think.

Starfire: Don't be so 'negative', friend Raven. I shall insert the knowledge in my head

Raven: I'm only going to help you study for about four hours.

Starfire: Sixty hours!

Raven: Ten.

Starfire: Thirty five!

Raven: Twenty.

Starfire: Twenty four!

Raven: Deal.

Starfire: Twenty.... Er... Deal!

Raven: (Rolls eyes)

---_12:24 Pm_---

_In Starfire's room......_

Starfire: (Is on computer) Ok! All done!

Raven: Alright, submit your results.

Starfire: (Clicks mouse) There! This Internet test was fun!

Raven: I took this test when I was studying for my license.

Starfire: (Looks at screen) Look! Something is appearing!

(Computer makes weird noses)

Raven: What did you do?

Starfire: Nothing!

(Screen goes black)

Raven: I think your computer crashed....

Starfire: Aw.... Now I'll never know what I was given!

Raven: Maybe that's what crashed it.

---_12:57 Pm_---

Starfire: The answer is..... Yellow!

Raven: No.

Starfire: Was I close?

Raven: Starfire, I asked you your Age....

---_1:30 Pm_---

Raven: Ok, how about multiple choice?

Starfire: Ok!

Raven: Lets see.... What does this sign mean? (Shows her a picture of two people walking with a bag in their hands, Aka, the sign for school ahead)

Starfire: I know! Mini mall opening soon!

Raven: (falls off bed)

---_1:52 Pm_---

Raven: Lets discuss the colours of street signs....

Starfire: This is easy!

Raven: (Tries to think of something easy) What colour does red indicate?

Starfire: What shade of red? That new colour by max factor?

Raven: You can remember the colour of cosmetics but not the colour of street signs?

Starfire: I could if you told me the shade.

Raven: ....Cherry?

Starfire: Ok! It indicates danger!

Raven: After two hours, you finally learned something... Now how long will it take to learn the whole book? (Whips out calculator) Add that.......Times this...... here we go....! (Stares at result) ERROR!?

---_2:30 Pm_---

Starfire: I'm tired.... Can I rest?

Raven: No.

Starfire: Ahem! (Waves picture)

Raven:....Ok...(Thinks) _Wonderful. Just Wonderful. She knows how to use it to her advantage._

Starfire: I'll go get some of those bitter hot liquids. (Leaves)

Raven: (Gets on the Internet and gets on chat lines) Lets see who is online...

Starfire: (In distance) Silkie! Did you devour all the sweet crystals called Sugar again?

Raven: (Types something) I'm going to need serious help...

(A few minutes pass)

Computer: You got mail! (beeps and stuff)

Raven: That was quick. Who is it? (Checks mail)

Starfire: Its me silly! I'm back with the bitter liquids!

Raven: (Closes message quickly) Uh.... Your back already?

Starfire: Yes, I wanted to take the time to 'catch up' with my best-est friend in the universe!

Raven: Oh dear god!

---_2:42 pm_---

Starfire: ....And that is how my race breeds!

Raven: (Looks disturbed)

Starfire: Coffee?

(Knock at door)

Starfire: I got it! (Runs to the door)

Raven: Ok...Just another reason why Tamarans are violent...

Starfire: (Answers door) Hello friend Beast Boy! Come in!

Raven: Uh oh... Maybe I should help....Nah.

Beast Boy: Huh?

Starfire: (Shuts door and locks it) Glad you can join my study party!

Beast Boy: Noooooooooo!

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Read and Review... Read and Review... Read and Review... Just hit the box... Type some praise... And send.... Send your little heart out... They have artificial hearts now so don't worry...


	3. Beast Girl

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans....Now read away my minions... For in the next chapter, Starfire 'attempts' to drive a car... Da Da DUN!! Ok, I don't know if it's because I'm tired and I'm trying to get rid of all energy or if the scents in this room that are making me hyper, but I'm hyper :D Hopefully my hyper-ness will produce some good humour in this fic, so enjoy the Entre'.

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---_3:01 PM_----

Beast Boy: (Looks at watch) Well, would you look at the time! We better be going! C'mon Rae!

Starfire: Not so fast!

Raven: Were doomed....

Starfire: Judging by this math device, you have to help me study for 24 hours. That means you have 8 hours an Earth day to help me until the test! Which means you guys have to stay for another (looks at calculator) 4 Hours and 50 minutes!

Beast Boy: Why me?! I'm not the one who was blackmailed!

Starfire: Blackmailed? What is blackmail?

Beast Boy: As long as you don't have anything on me in that book, you can't keep me here! (Trudges toward the door)

Starfire: Beast Boy, there are pictures of you! Do not feel left out! See! (Holds out book) It is you eatingactual hot dogs!

Raven: Um... I though you didn't eat meat?

Beast Boy: Well... Uh... OK OK OK! I ate meat! Cyborg told me it was Tofu with high protein! (Starts sobbing) I didn't mean to eat the animal guts! I swear!

Starfire: Whatis this thing you call 'guts'?

Beast Boy:....I don't know!(Smiles) Why don't you ask Robin? Oh, and maybe he knows aobut the birds and the bees!

Starfire: Ok, The next time I amconversing to Robin, I shall ask him about the story of the birds and the bees!

Beast Boy: (Grins)

Starfire: Ok, let us study more. With two teachers, I shall be twice as smart!

Raven: More like twice as dumb.

Starfire: Excuse me friend Raven, I misheard you!

Raven: (Remembers picture) I mean.... twice as numb from.... all that studying...

Beast Boy: (Whispers to Raven) Don't say anything to agitate her! I, for one, would prefer to live without shame!

Raven: (Whispers back) What's the matter? Afraid of little ol' Starfire?

Beast Boy: No! I'm afraid of her Make-up kit!

Starfire: Did you say make-up?

Beast Boy: No....!

Starfire: I know what we can do! Give friend Beast Boy a make over!

Beast Boy: Ahhhhh! Nooooo! Raven, Help!

Raven: Sorry, but..... Looks like you'll make me laugh after all.

Beast Boy: What......!? But that doesn't count! Raven, you owe me one!

Raven: Maybe another time.... (Leaves room)

Beast Boy: Raven! Come back!

---_3:34 Pm_---

Starfire: All done!

Raven: (Looks atBeast Boyand Spits out coffee she was drinking) Uh...

Starfire: Don't you agree? He just looks stunning!

Raven: I think he looked better as a guy.

Beast Boy: (Has a pound of makeup on, is wearing a polka dot dress and heels, and his hair is in a mini ponytail)

Starfire: (Starts giggling)

Raven: (Cracks a smile)That is so Embarrassing.

Starfire: You are telling me! (Whips out a camera and takes pictures)

Beast Boy: Can I please go see what you've done to me!? (Cringes at the thought of being seen)

Starfire: Of course, friend Beast Boy!

Beast Boy: You guys are so gonna pay! (Goes to bathroom)

(Silence)

Beast Boy: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raven: I think now is a good time to run. (Runs to the living room with Starfire in pursuit)

Beast Boy: Get back here! (Chases them)

(They arrive downstairs and into the living room where Cyborg is watching T.V.)

Cyborg: (Staring) Woah! I didn't know you were having that kind of party!

---_4:50 Pm_---

_The group has gone back to studying after an hour..._

Starfire: This question is difficult to follow...

Raven: Its an easy question.

Starfire: Read it again for me!

Beast Boy: Which side of the road do you drive on?

Starfire: The left!

Raven: (Sighs) This is going to take a while....

Beast Boy: Or we could save a lot of time and move to London!

---_5:04 Pm_---

Raven: (Is on computer) Alright, I just created a multiple choice test for you. Fill it out and tell us when your done.

Starfire: It won't crash again, will it?

Raven: I don't see how it be done, but with you, anything is possible.

Starfire: Ok! (Starts typing)

Raven: (Sits on bed) Finally, a break.

Beast Boy: How long will it take her to finish the test?

Raven: About fifteen minutes.

Beast Boy: Good! (Turns into a cat and takes a cat nap)

---_5:10 Pm_---

_Six minutes later....._

Raven: Is something wrong?

Starfire: Yes, I'm having some trouble with a question.

Raven: Which one?

Starfire: The first one.

Raven: Why does this not surprise me....

---_5:56 Pm_---

Raven: Ok, the results are done.

Starfire: What did I get, friend Raven?

Raven: Can negative twenty two be an answer?

---_6:30 Pm_---

Beast Boy: Starfire! Pay attention!

Starfire: ......

Beast Boy: Starfire?

Starfire: (Snores)

Raven: What the-

Beast Boy: Ssshhhhhhh! Lets get out of here! (Sneaks out the door)

Raven: Right. (Follows him)

Starfire: ....(Snores) I hope my friends wouldn't.. (Snores) ..leave early without a word.(Snore)

Raven: I'm starting to think she needs an Exorcism ritual.

---_7:10 Pm_---

Raven: Lets go back to Identification. What does this sign mean? (Shows her the same picture as before) And if you say mini mall opening soon, I swear I'll make sure you will never go to another.

Starfire: Well, if its not a mall sign, then it has to be....

Raven: (Leans in to listen)

Starfire: .....Something I have not seen before!

Raven: (Falls off bed again)

---_7:20 Pm_---

Beast Boy: Just answer this final question!

Starfire: Ok, what is it?

Beast Boy: When you come to an intersection with no signs or anything, what do you do?

Starfire: Look for oncoming traffic?

Raven: (Jumps up) Yes! Yes! YES! She got it!...I mean...

Starfire: Why are you acting like the girl in the herbal essence commercial?

Beast Boy: The impossible has happened! Star learned something!

Raven: It's a sign..... That she has a brain.

Starfire: Friends.... You are scaring me.....

Beast Boy: Lets go tell the world!

Raven: Lets get out of here first.

(They both run out the door)

Starfire: Hey, wait! You still have another eight minutes!

(Silence)

Starfire: Oh well.... It istime for Silkie's bubble bath anyway!(Smiles)

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Another Chapter complete... I have the feeling something is missing in this story... Meh, I'll save the good writing skills for an actual story. Ideas are as welcome as my brother in hell so don't fear the review button. I was thinknig of writing a story based on... Well... Don't want theives to see so I guess you'll have to wait. Then I will accept flames becuase then I can improve the imperfections. Aka, flames on this are only hot enough to dry my hair... Ok, getting carried away, expect another chapter real soon. Tootlez.


	4. Deep Sea Driving

Disclaimer: I don't own it, OK!? That is that. Every time I write fan fiction, here it is, a disclaimer... I think it's obvious we don't own it if we're writing FAN FICTION!!! Which translates to " A fictional story written by a fan about an existing work" in my dictionary!....... Ok.... I guess I'm grouchy today....

---_July.12, 9:24 Am_---

_Its now early morning the next day and Starfire is already up and spreading havoc..._

Starfire: (Goes to Raven's Room) Today should be fun! I cannot wait to operate an automobile!

(Starfire knocks on thee door... For 10 minutes)

Raven: (Finally opens it and sounds tired) Hello?

Starfire: (High pitched voice) It is time to study, buddy!

Raven:.....I could have slept for another hour...

Starfire: Come, friend! We have to study as soon as possible. The test is in two days!

Raven: Ugh...

Starfire: Alright, come to my room in 15 minutes!

Raven: (Starts mumbling)

Starfire: Friend Raven, you must talk louder. I cannot hear what you are saying!

Raven: I said....(Remembers the picture) Maybe you should go get Beast Boy while you're waiting.

Starfire: That is an excellent idea friend Raven! I shall see you again in 15 minutes! Goodbye!

Raven: Yeah. (Closes door)

(Starfire floats down the hall until arriving at Beast Boy's door)

Starfire: (Knocks on B.B's door)

Beast Boy:....Hey Star...What's up?

Starfire: Nothing is up, Friend Beast Boy! It is study time! Come join friend Raven and I in my room in 15 minutes!

Beast Boy: Uh... Ok... See ya in a few!

Starfire: Friend Beast Boy, can you ask friend Cyborg if I may borrow his carmobile?

Beast Boy: Ok, but I don't think he will let you...

Starfire: I am sure if you ask nicely, he will allow us to borrow his autocar!

Beast Boy: Um... Its called a car, Star.

Starfire: Thank you friend for correcting me. Goodbye!

Beast Boy: See ya!

(Starfire walks back to her room grinning)

Starfire: Perhaps I shall work on my picture holder while I am waiting!

---_9:29 AM_---

_In the living room..._

Beast Boy: Hey Cy! Star wants to know if she can borrow your car to practice driving!

Robin: (Is playing Gamestation) Take that, and that! Ha! I'm gonna win!

Cyborg: (Also playing Gamestation) OH NO YOU DON'T!!

Beast Boy: Cy? So can we borrow your car?

Cyborg: (Still stuck on Tv) Um...Yeah...Whatever... WOOOOHOOOOO, LOOK WHO JUST WHOOPED YOUR LITTLE BIRDY BEHIND!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Beast Boy: (Stuffs tape recorder in pocket) Ok, and I have that on tape so I'm not responsible for any damages! (Walks to Starfire's room)

---_9:35 Am_---

_In the living room several minutes later..._

Starfire: Robin, It is very good to see you! I apologise for yesterday, you may have some happiness pudding if you wish! (Smiles)

Robin: (Shutters) Happiness pudding...

Starfire: Friend Robin, can you assist me with my studies?

Robin: I'm sorry Star, but I have to look for more leads on Slade!

Stafire: On the machine that produces pictures? But the last time you were on that machine, you were looking at Earth women... What did that have to do with Slade?

Robin: (Looks petrified) Well....You see....

Cyborg: (Busts out laughing) Robin, you do know that we use that 'machine' as well! How dare you do such a bad thing as to look at P-orn...

Starfire: Corn?

Robin: (Quickly) Yes, corn, good ol' yellow corn! Corn is very useful! I have to go, bye!

Starfire: Ummm....Friend Cyborg! Perhaps you will help me study!

Cyborg: Hmm. Well I don't see the harm! Sure.

Starfire: Excellent! Join me in half an hour, friend!

---_10:42 Am_---

_In the underground warehouse that holds all the vehicles and has an underwater tunnel which provides transport for Cyborg's car_(A/N: Never thought about how Cyborg's car gets off the island before so I made it up :P)

Raven: Where is she?

Beast Boy: You know Starfire, she likes to take her time.... Maybe even forget us while she's at it...

Raven: Ok, I'm just going to go now rather than stay here another minute longer.

Beast Boy: You don't have to worry, Beast Boy is here! As long as I'm here, you won't get bored!

Raven: Yes, I won't. (Has evil thoughts of dunking Beast Boy into the underwater tunnel multiple times)

(Starfire arrives at long last)

Starfire: Ok friends! Who wishes to join me in my first driving lesson?

Raven: (Avoids eye contact)

Beast Boy: (Looks around whistling)

Starfire: Hmm... Raven, why don't you join me?

Raven: N-

Beast Boy: (Covers her mouth) Of course she would! It will be fun!

Starfire: Excellent! Let us drive friend Raven! (Skips to the drivers seat)

Raven: (Glares at Beast Boy)

Beast Boy: Don't worry, I'll make it up to you! Just don't kill me in my sleep!

Raven: (Gets in the passenger's seat) If I don't make it... Tell Cyborg.... He has nasty breath.

Beast Boy: (Chuckles) What ever you say...

Starfire: Let us go! (Puts pedal to the metal)

(Car burns out and zooms down the tunnel and out onto the streets)

Starfire: Wwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Raven: It's a good thing Cyborg has Insurance. Or does he.....?

Starfire: (Suddenly slams the brake)

Raven: (Nearly goes through front window) What on Earth are you doing?

Starfire: I forgot my Seatbelt! (Buckles up)

Raven: (Buckles up) Stay at the speed limit this time.

Starfire: The what?

Raven: I'm going to die, Aren't I?

Starfire: Off we go! (Speeds off again)

Raven: Ok...Just avoid that.... LAMP POST!

Starfire: Oh! (Turns on a Ninety degree angle)

Raven: Woah! Look out for that!

Starfire: Oh no! ( Nearly hits oncoming car) Phew!

Raven: Hit the brake...For the love of god, Hit the brake!

Starfire: (Hits thebrake literally) Oops!

Raven: Tell me you didn't just break the brake.

Starfire: Yes....

Raven: And tell me were not driving on a dock and are about to drive into the ocean.

Starfire: That is correct...

Raven: Were goners....

(Car drives off the edge of the dock)

Starfire and Raven: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(Crashes into water)

**SPLASHHHHHH!!!!**

Starfire: (Is looking through glass) Fish can come on land?

Raven: Great. I'm stuck in a car that's sinking to the ocean floor with a moron.

Starfire: The ocean has a floor? Are there many bright coloured tiles?

---_10: 42 Am_---

_Back in the bottom of Titan Tower..._

Beast Boy: What could be taking them so long?

Robin: (In distance) Beast Boy! Hey!

Beast Boy: Robin! Good to see ya!

Robin: Good to see you too... B.B, what are you doing down here anyway?

Beast Boy: Well, Starfire blackmailed Raven and Me without her knowing it so we would help her pass her drivers license test. Right now, Raven and Starfire are driving around in Cyborg's Car. Its weird though, They have been gone for an hour now without any contact.

Robin: Maybe Raven drove past a new mall and Star made her stop so she could go shopping.

Beast Boy: Raven? Star is the one driving.

Robin: .....Uh..... Is that safe?

(Cyborg's car pulls up covered in fish, kelp, and is dripping with sea water)

Beast Boy: Wow! I thought for sure Star would total it!

Raven: (Stumbles out of car) Sweet ground..... How I missed you.... (Collapses)

Starfire: (Gets out of car) Hey! I am not that worse of a driver!

Beast Boy: Is she okay?

Starfire: After she coughs up all the sea water she swallowed, she shall be fine! ( Smiles innocently)

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Yeah, the Robin looks at bad things on the computeris 100 guaranteed, if that is how you spell it, to get me a flame. I think it's obvious that he doesn't seeing how he's so serious and has no time for it... Then again, what if he has a secret stash of the degrading books in his closet?... I guess we'll never know.


	5. On With The Onslaught

I. Don't. Own. Teen. Titans. Saying that every time is really boring and annoying. So from now on, I shall not mention it, seeing how I already have five times (Counts on fingers)...Yeah, five.

Sorry if the format is confusing, but I read fast and it doesn't occur to me that it can be a hassle. No turning back now, I can't just change the story in the middle of the story... Er, right... No matter, I shall finish this and assure future humour fics are in story mode, as I call it. And if your looking for a BBRae fic, check out my story "Broken Home". No worries, it's actually a story, not text lines that look like a script... And on with the next chapter....

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---_11:00 Am_---

_In Starfire's Room...._

Starfire: Ok friends Raven and Beast Boy. Let us continue our studies!

(Cyborg enters without caution and strolls over to the desk to deposit books)

Cyborg: Hey Star, B.B. Rae...............(Pauses).................. Star................Why did you ask me to help you study if B.B and Raven are already helping?

Starfire: Well-

Beast Boy: Cy, Run! Don't let her get you too!

Raven: (Effortlessly) Get out while you still can.

Cyborg: What's wrong with you guys? Star just needs someone to help her study!

Starfire: That is correct, friend Cyborg! But in case you leave, here are some pictures I wanted to show you! (Smiles and whips out the book of doom, AKA, the photo album)

Cyborg: What pictures?

Starfire: (Giggles) Your naked baby pictures!

Cyborg: How....!? Where....!? Who......?!

Starfire: Tell your father I thanked him for sending them!

Cyborg: (Goes into shock)

Starfire: I need as many tutors as physical--Er--Possible... So that I can learn more over the length of time remaining.

Raven: I thought it was because you were trying to keep us here forever. ( Shutters at the thought)

Beast Boy: Ok, lets get back to Driving lessons. That's the main thing at the moment.

Raven: I'm not getting in a car with her again!

Beast Boy: Relax, I'll go this time.

Raven: That's very brave of you. But just in case, would you like satin coated or silk coated?

Beast Boy: Satin and Silk what?

Raven: A Coffin. What else?

Starfire: Lets go! ( Grabs Beast Boy and tows him to the car)

Cyborg: Lets go prepare her next lesson while they are out.

Raven: Or we could confiscate those photos. C'mon, Those picture aren't going to mysteriously be destroyed on their own! ( Goes into Starfire's scary pink closet)

Cyborg: Wait! We need to make sure she doesn't have them with her!

(Crickets chirping)

Cyborg: Why do people ignore me!?

---_11:35 Am_---

_In Star's room...._

Raven: ...A photo album! ( Starts flicking through it) Hey, These are pictures of stuffed animals! What a waste of film.

Cyborg: Well, at least they aren't more embarrassing pictures!

Raven: Hold on.... I think I hear a car.

Cyborg: ( Looks out window) She's baa-aack!

Raven: Quick! Clean the place up.

( The car pulls back into the drive way)

Starfire: (Gets out of car) See? I am not such a horrible driver!

Beast Boy: (Gets out of car and kisses the ground) Wonderful ground... I thought I'd never set foot on you again!.... Uh oh.... I hope that was mud....

Starfire: Let us go and see what our other friends have been up to. (Goes inside)

Beast Boy: I hope they got the pictures..... ( Follows Starfire)

(They go up stairs and open Starfire's door)

Raven: ( Is sitting on the bed innocently reading a book) About time you guys got back.

Cyborg: (Pretending to be asleep)

Starfire: So what have you guys been up to?

Raven: Certainly not snooping for embarrassing pictures. That's for sure.

Beast Boy: Um.... I guess its time to get back to studying?

Starfire: Ok! I just love this day! And I get to spend this joyous day with my best friends!

Raven: Uh huh....

Beast Boy: C'mon, lets start asking her questions.

Raven: I'll go first. Starfire? Why are you so dumb?

Starfire: Because I......Hey!

Beast Boy: Raven!... How very unlike you.

Raven: You said ask her a question, So....

---_12:30 Pm_---

Beast Boy: On the Driving exam, what do you do before you start the car?

Starfire: (Starts waving her hand in the air) Oh! Oh! I know this one!

Raven: And I have a feeling you don't.

Beast Boy: ......Well?

Starfire: The first thing you do is....... Apply makeup in case you pass an attractive male!

Raven: I knew it, She'll never pass!

Beast Boy: There's still a thin ray of hope shining.

Raven: Exactly how thin? Microscopic?

---_12:56 Pm_---

Starfire: It's..... Yellow?

Raven: Good. You got it right.

Beast Boy: (Exits his daydream) ...What was the question?

Raven: What colour is a banana.

Beast Boy: What does that have to do with anything?

Raven: Just making sure she hasn't suffered brain damage.

---_1:12 Pm_---

Raven: What is this? (Holds up card)

Starfire: It looks like.... A blotch of ink?

Raven: No, What does the blotch look like?

Beast Boy: What are you doing?

Raven: Making sure she isn't crazy.

Beast Boy: That's it! I'll ask the questions from now on!

Raven: Fine by me. But don't come crying to me when she ends up in a loony bin.

---_1:32 Pm_---

Beast Boy: Ok Star, What do you do when you come to a stop sign.

Starfire: Oh.... This is hard. Stop?

Beast Boy: Yes, that is right!

Starfire: No, really, Stop. I am getting a headache!

Beast Boy: (Falls off bed and hits head on night stand)

Starfire: Friend Beast Boy? Why did you fall off the bed?

Beast Boy: (Sits up) I didn't eat the cookies, Mommy...... (Falls back)

Raven: And I thought Starfire had brain damage....

---_1:45 Pm_---

Cyborg: Guys, Does Star still have that slug thing?

Beast Boy: Yeah, why do you ask?

Cyborg: Then I'm not cleaning up his 'Sluggy presents'!

---_2:30 Pm_---

Starfire: Raven, what time is it?

Raven: Time for you to get a watch.

Starfire: What is a watch?

Raven:....

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Ok, expect rapid updates. I'm trying to focus on my other fic so I want to ensure I actually finish what I've started... If anyone is actually reading this... Any who, I should have 3 or 4 new chappies up tonight, as in December 10th. Ta ta for now.


	6. PMS Psychotically Mad Starfire

Disclaimer: See previous chapters....

Ok, all I have to say at the moment is imagining the Evanescence song sung by Starfire in this chap. off key isn't exactly a nice thought.... But no matter, the Christina Agulera song deserves to be off key :D...... Seeing the slutty blonde era end is a wondrous thought.... Ok, enough input, onto the story....

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---_2:48 Pm_---

Starfire: (Is singing off key on purpose and using a brush for a microphone) Going under! Drowning you! I'm falling forever! I've got to break through!

(Cyborg and Beast Boy Re-enter)

Raven: Please, Make it stop!

Cyborg: Star, stop your horrible singing!

Starfire:MY SINGING IS NOT HORRIBLE!!! THIS WAY OF SINGING IS CONSIDERED HEAVENLY ON TAMARAN!!! SO SIT YOUR METALLIC BUTT DOWN!!!

Cyborg: Yes, Ma'am! (Sits obediently)

Beast Boy: (Turns into a dog and also sits)

Starfire: Now, what can I sing? Oh! (Starts singing) I can sing wonderful, no matter what they say. Your insults won't bring me down....

Raven: What a ripoff...

Beast Boy: She's just asking for a lawsuit.

Cyborg: .........

Beast Boy: Is he asleep?

Raven: I think his system crashed.

Beast Boy: Well, the next time we fight a villain, we can just ask Star to sing for them!

---_3:07 Pm_---

Starfire: Ok, lets get back to studying! Now what time is it?

Raven: Time for you to learn something before I tie you to a chair, space your eyes apart with toothpicks, and play a video on the rules of the road until it catches on fire.

Starfire: You should not say such horrible things..... ( Waves picture)

Raven: You..... Want to know the time? Its 3:08.

Starfire: Oh no!

Cyborg: What is it?

Starfire: I missed my soap opera!

( Everyone falls over anime style)

Retasu: I know! It is such a tragedy! Now I cannot see David Woods until Next week's episode!

---_3:26 Pm_---

Raven: Hey, where did Starfire go?

Beast Boy: To the kitchen. She said she was getting a snack.

Cyborg: That's odd... She was turning the stove on when I went down there.

Raven: Oh no, She's making her horrible cookies again!

Beast Boy: With any luck, she's using a recipe book this time.

Cyborg: I'm just happy that I only have to eat once a day!

(Starfire enters with a huge platter of cookies)

Starfire: Who wants one?

( Crickets Chirping)

Starfire: Please eat a cookie! Or I will expose these pictures to the world!

Cyborg: But I don't need to-

Starfire: EAT IT!!!

(Everyone grabs a cookie)

Starfire: Eat one! They are my specialty!

Raven and Beast Boy: (Takes a bite of a cookie and passes out)

Starfire: Grrrrrr.......

Cyborg: Hey, this are delicious! ( Eats another)

---_4:57 Pm_---

Cyborg: Star, Could you get us some coffee?

Starfire: Sure! (Runs to kitchen)

Raven: Cyborg, Take the closet. Beast Boy, Take under her bed. I'll stay on lookout.

Cyborg: Right! (Goes to closet and opens it) What the-!? ( Thousands of stuffed animals fall on him) Help!

Beast Boy: Hey, that stuffed animal talked! Take this! (Whacks Cyborg with a text book)

Cyborg: Stop it, Beast Boy! Its not funny!

Beast Boy: Woops, Sorry Cy. I didn't see you there. ( Turns around and starts snickering)

( Beast Boy walks over to her bed and glances under it)

Beast Boy: (Looks under Star's bed and jumps back) Woah!

Cyborg: What is it?

Beast Boy: Is Silkie init's cage?

Cyborg: Yeah.

Beast Boy: Then that is one deformed furby!

---_5:03 Pm_---

Starfire: I have returned!

(Everyone is asleep)

Starfire: Awwww........ (Walks closer) WAKE UP!

(Everyone jumps up)

Cyborg: Oh, welcome back!

Starfire: Here are your boiling beverages! Be very careful, its-

Cyborg: HOT! (Tries to fan tongue)

Beast Boy: Stah, uh sold ave tad as!

Retasu: I sold Avetaddus? But the Glorkenspiels own that planet!

Raven: I think he said you should have told them.

Starfire: I was going to warn you but you drank it!

Cyborg: Then you shouldn't have let us have it!

Starfire: I did not see the harm. You all needed the caffeine right away!

Beast Boy: Ai cald ave ated....

Starfire: Friend Beast Boy, Are you taking Spanish lessons?

Beast Boy: Owh! Ew art arie clover!

Starfire: Let me see.... You said something about Clover art?

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Not much to say at this point... Except.... READ AND REVIEW! ....But of course, Reviews cure my writer's block.


	7. MakeBelieve

Well, the reviews are low but no matter, I'll finish this anyway. The script form probably scares people away so my next humour fic will not bein thisformat.... Did I mention that before?....Oh well. Read away, and maybe review??????

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---6:32 Pm---

Starfire: Ok friends, the test is tomorrow. Go get your stuff and come back, you have to stay until 1:00 Am, which means you have to stay here for the night!

Raven: I'd rather fall into an alligator-filled pit.

Starfire: Pleeeeeeaaaaassssse, It will be a 'attack'....I mean 'blast'! I have so many games planned!

Beast Boy: We came to help you study, Star. Not play games!

Starfire: (Waves picture)

Beast Boy: ......Maybe a few little games wouldn't hurt.

Starfire: Now go, and don't take too long! (Turns to leave) .....And do not forget to come back or certain secrets will be exposed. (Leaves)

Cyborg: Aw, Man! I think Rae's evilness was transferred to Star!

Raven: Ahem.

Cyborg: Not that it's a bad thing! (Mutters) I'm always being forced to say something these days....

Beast Boy: Lets just go, Its not like we're getting those pictures back anyway.

Cyborg: Unless we give so many boring lectures that she takes a snooze!

Raven: Then we take our pictures back.

Beast Boy: Not just that, we get some embarrassing pictures of her so we can have revenge!

Trombone: Good idea, man! We won't let her get away with it!

---_8:00 Pm_---

_Outside Star's room door......_

Cyborg: Remember, ask her the most boring questions imaginable!

Raven: And what if she answers them anyway?

Cyborg: Then god help us all.

Beast Boy: (Knocks on door)

Starfire: (Opens door) Welcome to my sleep over! If an annoying person shows up, do not hesitate to kick them out!

Cyborg: Beast Boy! Get out!

Beast Boy: ( Crosses arms and frowns)

Starfire: Put your stuff over here, (Points to closet) and put your sleeping bags here. (Points to large empty space on floor) Any questions?

Cyborg: Can I have more of your cookies?

Starfire: Sure! I shall go bake some more!

(Raven and Beast Boy are staring at Cyborg)

Cyborg: What? They're addictive!

---_8:12 Pm_---

Starfire: First up, we're going to play "Fairy Kingdom"!

( Everyone continues to stare in disbelief)

Starfire: Ok, who wants to be the (Sighs) fairy prince.... That falls in love with me?

(Silence)

Starfire: Fine, friends! I will just get someone else to be my (Sigh) prince.....

Raven: Starfire, We don't want to play your stupid game! So lets just study.

Starfire: Ok friend Raven, you leave me no choice....

---_8:20 Pm_---

Raven: (Is hanging upside down over a giant cauldron) STAFIRE!! LET ME DOWN!!!

Starfire: I am sorry friend, but we need to burn the witch of fairy land!

Raven: LET ME DOWN BEFORE I BLAST YOU ALL INTO OBLIVION!!!

Starfire: What do the village people have to say about this?

Cyborg: Witches must be vanquished!

Beast Boy: You didn't save me from her murderous makeup kit so I won't save you from a pot of slime.

Starfire: The village has spoken! Prepare to be dropped into a.... Well... pretend boiling cauldron!

Raven: (Sighs deeply) Ok, I'll play your stupid game... Now let me down!

Starfire: Ok! (Releases rope)

Raven: (Falls on floor with a thud) You could have waited until I was ready.

Starfire: You said you wanted to get down! Also, I wanted to see if witches could fly....

---_8:25 Pm_---

Starfire: First, I will explain the rules. I wander into fairyland and meet the Dreamy(sigh) prince.... of fairy land. He falls in love with me, then the nasty witch kidnaps me so the prince has to ride his horse all the way to the witch's castle and save me!

Raven: Great..... We get to play make believe with Starfire the daydreamer... Does she ruin my life on purpose?

Starfire: Ok, I shall now assign the roles! Beast Boy is the (Sighs) Fairy Prince.....

Beast Boy: Wonderful.... I get to be Star's love slave... Oh joy....

Starfire: Raven is the Nasty witch-

Raven: Um...

Starfire: Oh, what is this in my pocket.... Why, it is a picture of you snatching all of the candy at last years Christmas party!

Raven: Curses. My scheme to swipe candy has failed.... Yet again.

Starfire: ...And Cyborg gets to be the white horse!

Cyborg: Neigh! Neigh, I say! That makes no sense man, why can't Beast Boy just turn into a real horse?

Starfire: Because horses are not green... Now, The beautiful lake is over there, (Points to her mirror that has been layed flat on the floor) The witches castle is on my bed, (Points to giant pillow fort on her bed) And the dark, creepy woods are over there. (Points to several stacked up chairs) Ok, places everyone!

(Everyone goes to their places)

Starfire: Ok, first scene, I arrive in fairy land. (Begins to recite lines) What a beautiful place I have strolled into! Oh, look! A nice shiny lake! (Goes to flat mirror) Oh, I am the most beautiful princess in this land, now if only an attractive prince would come along!

(Silence)

Starfire:....If only an attractive prince would come along!

Raven: (Whispers) Blockhead! Its your turn to embarrass yourself.

Beast Boy: Oh, Right! Giddie up, Cyborg!

Cyborg: This isn't (Neighs like horse) R-r-r-right!

Starfire: Wow! It is the prince of fairy land! What luck!

Beast Boy: Uh... Need a ride to the bus station?

Starfire: That is not your line, friend Beast Boy! Your supposed to say ' Why hello there miss, are you in distress?'

Beast Boy: Yeah... What you said.

Starfire: Never mind...! Lets move on to the next verse! (Recites lines) Why, I am lost in these dark scary woods, can you help me get home?

Beast Boy: Sure, hop on my horse!

Cyborg: Hey, I need to use the bathroom!

Starfire: Shhhhh! Earth horses do not talk!

Cyborg: Well I guess I'll just go on your carpet like any other horse!

Starfire:.......! Ok, you may use the washing facility!

Cyborg: (Takes off)

Beast Boy: Ok... Come have a ride on my invisible horse!

Starfire: Sure Prince Fairy! (Stands behind him)

Beast Boy: Would you like to go to my castle?

Starfire: Oh, that would be wonderful! (Shouts) It is your turn Raven!

Raven: (Effortlessly) Ha ha ha ha. I am an evil witch. Be scared of me for no reason whatsoever.

Starfire: Raven, you were supposed to put on the mask in the fort!

Raven: Just pretend I'm a..... Sorceress.

Beast Boy: That seems better than making her wear an old Halloween mask.

Starfire: Halloween?

Beast Boy: Anyway... Go away sorcerer! You cannot harm us!

Raven: Too bad, there's nothing on my crystal ball until 9:00.

Starfire: Go and turn some frightened children into mice! Leave us alone so we can express our love through the 'Sucking of face'!

Beast Boy: (Falls over) How about she stays?

Raven: Aha, I have rendered the price defenceless somehow. I guess I'll take your friend for no reason at all.

Starfire: Oh, no! Prince, Save me!

Beast Boy: I have a name!

Raven: She'll never learn it then. ( Tosses Starfire into the fort)

Starfire: AHHHH!....I broke a nail.

Beast Boy: Should I pay you in cash or with a credit card?

Raven: Cash will do.

Starfire: Friends! Play it right! You are not to pay the witch for getting rid of me!

Raven: ...You'll never be able to tell her your name. Never! (Laughs evilly)

Beast Boy: No, take me instead!

Raven: That can be arranged in no time-

Starfire: Friend Raven!

Raven: Er....Never! She will never hear the name, Prince Snooglekins!

Beast Boy: SNOOGLEKINS!?!

Starfire: Play along, Snooglekins is a cute name!

Beast Boy: Ok....

Raven: Bye, bye... Snooglekins! (Goes into fort)

Beast Boy: No! Not only has she taken some girl I just met, she revealed my first name! If my second name is revealed, then I will lose that girl forever! Wait.... Isn't that a good thing?

Cyborg: (Re-enters) I'm back!

Beast Boy: Good! I need to go to the sorcerer's castle, pronto!

Cyborg: All the way!?

Beast Boy: I guess we could walk...

Starfire: (From inside fort) Where is the realism in that!?

Beast Boy: Pretend Cy lost his horse shoe.

Starfire: Ok!

(They walk to the pillow fort)

Beast Boy: Evil witch, evil witch, let me come in!

Raven: Not by the moss on my door, door, door!

Cyborg: Mother goose must be spitting in her nest!

Beast Boy: Then I'll have to break in there! (Rams into pillows)

(The entire fort collapses in a flash on them)

Starfire: No! My re-enactment has crashed like a plane into water!

Raven: Wow! Starfire used a Simile!

Cyborg: Pretend its an alternate ending!

Beast Boy: But then it will be similar to the wizard of Oz!

Raven: And if you thing my boots are going to curl up, your highly mistaken.

Starfire: Ok, the witch has been crushed by the castle... And the prince and I have rode off into the horizon! Now, we have to get married! Friend Cyborg! You are now the priest!

Cyborg: From horse to priest? Did I get reincarnated?

Raven: Ok, and the point of this last part is....

Starfire: I get to kiss my prince!

Beast Boy: Uh.... Weddings off! (Runs out of room)

Starfire: Oh no! My prince has left!

Raven: Then get the Horse-priest to marry you to this poster. ( Gives her a movie poster of daredevil)

Starfire: I think I shall hold off on marriage for now.... But Daredevil is 'Hot'! Especially in that tight leather.... (Starts drooling)

Cyborg: I think she needs to see a doctor....

Raven: Would that be Witch doctor by any chance?

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In case you haven't notice, or I'm just insane... Yeah... It seems like Starfire and Raven are a tad OOC.......................................................................................................................

Oh well, thanks so far to the people who reviewed. And in the final chapter I will mention everyone who did review..........................................................................

And R & R plz, writers block is cured that way..... Well, for me anyway.


	8. Evil Plan

It won't be too long before I finish this fic. At the rate I'm uploading, I should be finished within a few days. Then I can concentrate on my newest fic. So check it out and review it to boost my writing confidence :P Or point out my imperfections so I can improve my skill

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---_8:52 Pm_---

Starfire: Let us play one more game! I know the perfect one!

Raven: Torture Starfire?

Starfire: Hey!... It is called spotlight!

Beast Boy: Hey, I like that game!

Cyborg: Hey, I like Hay!

Raven: Were not playing that game anymore.

Cyborg: No, I really do! It's special ingredient number 2 in Star's cookies.

Raven: What is the number 1 ingredient? Poison?

Starfire: Ok, the rules are simple! We turn off all the lights in the tower and then you guys will hide. I get to use a flashlight so if I catch you, you have to be the new searcher! Ok?

Beast Boy: Less yap, more hiding! (Takes off turning off every light possible)

Cyborg: He really likes that game, doesn't he?

Raven: When you look like a kid, you have the mind of a kid.

---_9:10 Pm_---

_Cyborg has hidden in the bathroom shower...._

Cyborg: (Trying to stay balanced) Man! Its cramped in here!

Beast Boy: Your telling me! (Is hiding in clothes hamper)

Cyborg: B.B.? I didn't know you were in here.

Beast Boy: Raven told me to go hide somewhere else, she said I would give her away.

Cyborg: Yeah, everyone tries to hide with Raven because she can hide in the walls!

Beast Boy: Hold on....! Someone's coming!

( Footsteps walk outside and stop at bathroom door)

Beast Boy: (Whispers) Dude... I think she found us!

(Silence)

Robin: Hm... I really need to take a shower! (Walks into bathroom and pulls shower curtain across) Ahhhhhhh!

Cyborg: Uh... Can't you see someone's in here?!

Robin: Cyborg, what are you doing in here?!

Cyborg: ...Gotta go! (Takes off to another hiding spot)

Robin: Finally, some privacy!

Beast Boy: (Sweat drops) HEY!!!

Robin: AHH! Talking clothes hamper! (Picks up the Beast Boy-filled hamper and throws it out window) Problem solved!

(Loud thud is heard outside)

---9:16 Pm---

Cyborg: (Whispering) Raven? I need a hiding place! Where are you?

(Silence)

Cyborg: Hello!?

(More silence)

Cyborg: Starfire will find me for sure now! (Sits on couch)

Raven: Hey, get off me, Knucklehead!

Cyborg: What the...? (Jumps up)

Raven: I'm hiding under the cushions in the sofa, so you better not park your butt there again!

Cyborg: Sorry. I didn't think that you would be hiding in a couch!

Raven: Exactly, That's why Starfire will never find me.

Cyborg: Got any suggestions on where I can hide?

Raven: The closets free.

Cyborg: No, too obvious.

Raven: The cupboard?

Cyborg: Too much food.

Raven: (Blandly) The toilet.

Cyborg: No.... Hey, I'm not hiding in a toilet!

Raven: Then your on your own.

(Footsteps are hear in the hallway)

Cyborg: Never mind! Move over! Star's coming!

Raven: No way. Its pretty cramped in here now!

Cyborg: Gotta hide, Gotta hide....! (Dives under the coffee table)

Starfire: (Enters room) Hello? It is me, I have come to find you!

Raven: Starfire! You couldn't catch the cold!

Starfire: Huh!?

Raven: (Covers mouth)

Starfire: Must have been the wind... (Leaves)

Cyborg: What was that?!

Raven: Sorry, emotions got out of control.

---_9:24 Pm_---

_Outside..._

Beast Boy: Ow, my head... ( Walks inside covered in clothes) I wonder where the others are hiding?

Starfire: (Leaps out) AHA!!! GOTCHA!!!

Beast Boy: AHHHHH!!!

Starfire: AHHHHH!!! SOCK MONSTER!!!

Beast Boy: ???

Starfire: Oh, It is just you friend Beast Boy.

Beast Boy: Star, can we stop playing this game now?

Starfire: Ok...

Raven: Good. ( Comes out from nowhere) Lets get back on task.

Cyborg: (Follows Raven from nowhere) Come on Star, lets go study.

Beast Boy: (Nods) Right, we've wasted valuable study time.

Starfire: ....( Comes up with an idea)...Ok, but first, let us all go get something to drink! I do not know about you friends, but I am thirsty!

Cyborg: Alright, but you have to study for the remainder of tonight!

Starfire: If you say so...( Smiles deviously)

---9:32 PM---

_In the kitchen..._

Starfire: Here you go! Some herbal tea! It is good for your immune system!

Raven: Sure, No need to blab on about it's greatness.

Cyborg: This tea tastes different... And it's tastes much better!

Beast Boy: Ok, Star, every time an ambulance drives by with its siren on, what do you do?

Starfire: Ummm....

Raven: (Rolls eyes)

Cyborg: It involves slowing down...

Beast Boy: Then hitting the break...

Raven: Then getting out of the way...

Starfire: But what if there are two ambulances coming from both sides?

(Silence)

Raven: Riiiight...Lets just grab the actual guide of driving.

Starfire: Ok, let us return to my room!

---_9:50 PM_---

_In Starfire's room.._.

Raven: Starfire! What kind of answer was that!?

Beast Boy: (Enters) What? What's going on?

Raven: Starfire is stupid, that's what.

Starfire: I am not of low intelligence!

Raven: I was pretending to be the interviewer so when I asked her what sex she was, she said "Sex? Ewww! No! I'm still a virgin!"

Starfire: Oh, you asked me if I was male or female!

Raven: (Sighs)

Beast Boy: Come on guys, lets take a break or something.

Raven: Another break!? Oh right, Starfire's needs some time for her mind to absorb my yelling.

Beast Boy: Right, so lets just relax. ( Sinks into a couch)

Cyborg: (Enters the room and yawns) Ugh, I'm so tired...

Raven: Tired? But its only 9:50. ( Yawns) .... Ok, maybe the stress of tutoring Starfire has taken all our energy.

Beast Boy: But we have to stay up all night to help Star study.

Cyborg: Are you sure? There are plenty of books she can read while we take a snooze!

Starfire: Friends, I just remembered, I left a window open! I will be right back! ( Leaves)

Cyborg: Ok, lets make up some new questions to ask her...(Yawns)

_---10:01 PM_---

Starfire: (Re-enters) Friends, I have returned from closing the window!

( The three are sound asleep on her bed)

Starfire: Yes! My plan worked! See? I am smarter than I look! All thanks to that herbal tea that is guaranteed to make you drowsy! Now to get out of here and practice driving myself! Now where are friend Cyborg's car keys?

_---10:47 Pm_---

Starfire: ( Is driving Cyborg's car) Ok, This is not so hard... I cannot believe Cyborg left his keys in the keyhole!

(She continues to drive until something catches her eye)

Starfire: Ahhhh! A tree! (Swerves out of the way)

( Another tree comes onto the scene)

Starfire: Oh no! Not another one! (Swerves across the road again) Eeek! Is that another tree!? (Turns the wheel)

( A cop pulls up behind her and sound his siren)

Starfire: Uh oh! (Slams the brake)

( She promptly stops as the police officer exits his car and walks up to the side of her car)

Police Officer: Excuse me, Ma'am, but can you explain why you were swerving all over the road?

Starfire: Officer! Thank Domotar you are here! I was driving along the yellow lined path when a tree came out of nowhere so I turned and nearly ran into another one! Then I saw another tree so I dodged that one too! Then you came and stopped me! I did not have any time to react!

Police Officer: So these trees, did they all look the same? Like a pine tree almost?

Starfire: Yes, exactly like a pine tree!

Police Officer: ( Glances into her car) Ma'am, that's your air freshener!

Muhahahahahaha, I got that last part from a blonde joke. I'm guessing there are only a few chapters left... No matter, I have plenty of ideas for stories. So R & R to strengthen my immunity to writers block.


	9. Oh The Irony

Yup, another chapter. Not much to talk about, huh? But of course, It feels like I'm talking to myself. Actually I am, as you read this, I'm off doing other things, so I'm talking, but no one hears it until later.... Now I'm confusing myself, just R & R and I'll be happy :D

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---July. 13th, 8:55 Am---

In Starfire's room...

Beast Boy: ( Wakes up) huh...? (Sees excessive pinkness everywhere) Wha... Oh, right, I'm in Starfire's room...( Yawns and walks over to Starfire's dresser where a note has been left)

( Silence)

Beast Boy: What!? ( Snatches the note) Hey guys! Wake up!

Raven: (Levitates a pillow at Beast Boy) ...Get out of my room!

Beast Boy:...Raven... We're in Starfire's room, remember?

Raven: ...What?

Beast Boy: Yeah, and Starfire is gone!

Raven: (Leaps up)

Beast Boy: Here, read this. (Hands Raven the note)

Raven: (Quickly reads it) Dear Friends, I have left early to teach myself to drive. The three of you can all go back to your daily lives now. The rest of your time to tutor me is cancelled, I am going to use the time to teach myself. Your methods do not work for me!?

Beast Boy: Dude! We gave her breaks!

Raven: There's more... P.S..... Friend Cyborg, I have borrowed your car-

Cyborg: ( Jumps in his sleep) WHAT!?

Beast Boy: Uh oh Cy! You'll never see it in once piece again!

Cyborg: No! My car! Whhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!?

Raven: I think its because you left the key in the ignition.

Cyborg: That car was the best car to drive on the terrain of the Earth......MY CAR!!!! (Sobs)

Beast Boy: (Pats him on the back) Calm down, we can get you a new car! A better car!

Cyborg: But I liked that car! It was MY CAR!!! OH... (Produces waterfall tears)

Raven: Ok, this has gone too far. Starfire has blackmailed us all into helping her, she nearly kills us, and then she drugs us and steals a car!?

Beast Boy: Yeah! What got in her breakfast!?

Cyborg: We have to find her and get my car back!

Beast Boy: I'll be able to find her easily! You forgot that we have the tracking devices in our communicators!

Cyborg: Good thinking B.B.! I'll check her location!

Raven: Finally, Beast Boy uses his brain for something good.

Beast Boy: (Tries to decide if that was a comment or an insult)

Cyborg: ( Gets Starfire's Location) Starfire is on the Osiris bridge!

Raven: Lets go.

---9:16 Am---

_On the Osiris bridge..._

Starfire: It is a good thing that the Police Officer let me continue driving in exchange for an autograph. Now I can continue the practising of driving!

( Drives over a giant spike and pops the tire on the car)

Starfire:... I hope that was just the car burping...

( The car swerves and comes to a halt on the other side of the road, blocking the path of a school bus)

Starfire: Oh no... What have I done?

**BOOOOOMMMM!!!**

Starfire: ???

(Starfire glances to her right to see a giant oil tanker on fire, several cars on fire as well)

Starfire: ....

( Beast Boy, Raven, and Cyborg suddenly arrive at the scene)

Beast Boy: Starfire, Did you do that!?

Starfire: No!... I do not think so...

Bus driver: (Goes to Starfire) Kid, you saved us! If you didn't swerve in front of us, we would have drove straight into that explosion! You're a hero!

Beast Boy, Raven, and Cyborg: (Stares in disbelief)

Starfire: You are welcome?

Raven: Does anyone else see the irony in this?

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A short chapter, but I want to make the final chapter non-short... Er... Not puny and little... Well you understand... I hope... And now, R & R please. I ask kindly, all you have to do is hit a button, hit keyboard letters, and then hit another button. Simple eh? Yet most of you choose not to. I wonder why... COUGHlazyCOUGH....Actually I have a bad throat so most of my talking is like that. :P


	10. Surprise Surprise

And the final chapter is here. I think this chapter lacks humour. Humour that makes me laugh anyway...

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—_10:19 Am_—

Cyborg: Now that the fire is out and the police are here... Why don't' you explain to us... WHY YOU PUT SLEEPING PILLS IN OUR TEA AND STOLE MY CAR!?

Starfire: (Innocently) I am sorry! All I wanted was to learn to drive! I didn't hurt your car! It is fine! I took good care of it! I even got that new Falcon 860 engine!

Cyborg: (Caves) You mean the new Falcon 860 engine by Taurus? THAT ENGINE IS THE BOMB! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT IT FOR ME!

Raven: And suddenly her evil doings are forgiven.

Beast Boy: Hey guys, lets go home! I'm in the mood to cook up a batch of tofu eggs!

Starfire: I am sorry, but I do not have time for breakfast. I have to go take my exam! (Flies off in a flash)

Cyborg: Well, I don't think she stands a chance at passing, so lets go upgrade the security of the safe room to keep Starfire out.

Raven: I second that idea.

Beast Boy: Dude, she might show those pictures to the world! What humiliation!

Cyborg: No worries. (Reaches into the car and pulls out a book) I think we are free.

Beast Boy: Is that...?

Cyborg: Yup! Now we can go back to our normal lives (Tosses the photo album over the bridge)

(The books sinks to the bottom of the ocean/bay/body of water I'm not sure what to call)

Cyborg: Everyone in my new super powered car! Lets go home! And maybe even go for a drive while we're at it! (Gets in car)

Beast Boy: Dude, those were the longest three days of my life! (Also gets in car)

Raven:... I hope no one finds that book before it decays. (ALSO gets in the car)

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_At the bottom of the ocean..._

Aqualad: (Is swimming along until he sees something) What's this?

(Aqualad picks up a very familiar book and looks through it)

Aqualad: (Suppresses laughter) This belongs to the Teen Titans, maybe I should return it?

_---11:07 AM_---

_At Titan Tower.._.

Beast Boy: Hey guys! Starfire is back!

(Siren goes off)

Cyborg: EVERYBODY IN THE SAFE ROOM!!!

(The room is empty in a matter of 2.47824115 seconds)

Starfire: (Walks into the living room).... Hello?

----------------------

_In the safe room several minutes later..._

Cyborg: Ok, I don't think she knows we're in here...

Raven: Then what is that eerie breathing over in the corner!?

(Everyone stares until something comes out of the darkness)

Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Robin: Guys, relax! It's me. I followed you in here to give you this. ( Holds out the book of doom)

Beast Boy, Raven, and Cyborg: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(The trio bursts out of the safe room and runs to the living room where Starfire awaits)

Starfire: Friends! There you are! Can you join me all in Klagorji?

Beast Boy, Raven, and Cyborg: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(The trio take off back down the hall and try to get in their rooms only to find them locked)

Beast Boy, Raven, and Cyborg: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Starfire: (Corners them) Friends! You must join me in a Klagorji!

Beast Boy: No! Anything but that! Please spare us!

Starfire: Friends, I am afraid you do not understand. A Klagorji is a small gathering of friends to thank them for a good deed!

Beast Boy, Raven, and Cyborg: AHHHHH......( Makes a realization) ......... What??????????

Starfire: I now have a licence to drive! (Flashes the card)

Beast Boy, Raven, and Cyborg: (Stares in disbelief for the second time that day)

Starfire: Thank you all for helping me! And thank Aqualad for returning my book!

Beast Boy: Anyone else want him off the Christmas card list?

Starfire: Do not be sad, friends! This time next Earth year I will require your assistance to obtain my complete licence! Isn't that joyous news?

(Suddenly, she is the only one in the room)

Starfire:.... Oh well, perhaps Robin will assist me next year! (Goes off humming innocently)

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THE END... Finally. How many chapters did I craft tonight? Enough to burn my entire evening. Oh well, now that this is over, I can focus on " Broken Home" I hope this fic was enjoyable for you.

Now onto the veeeeeeeeerrrrry short thanks for reviewing list, as of Dec. 10th, 2004....

CiNnAmOnCoOkIeS

Neva13

Dissappearer/Syani

RavenOnline

....That is all. It's almost as short as Christmas holidays this year... Cursed cheap school... Take away our freedom so they can watch us squirm in our seats as they torture us for an extra week...


End file.
